Inconsolable Rage
Posted by justgiveup on July 15, 2009
It happens.
A while ago I decided I wanted to start playing the piano again and I downloaded a pdf book on chords and stuff, how to figure all that out again. The author was adamant in his attitude that piano should be fun and you should play only for yourself. I totally agree and this makes it extremely annoying when people make unsavory comments on what I decide to play, alone, from downstairs in the basement.
“That song sounds like the same thing over and over.” Yeah, it’s almost like I’m practicing. “What’s that other one you play that’s more lively?” The song I want to work on today is slow and has a minor key. But it’s nice (and “but” shouldn’t even have to be said) and that’s why I’m playing it. Get over it. Complexity, optimism and repetitiveness are not qualities I consider when I decide I want to learn to play a song. I don’t play for other people. I don’t want to become the piano man. I hope I never compose a song that gets played by anyone who could be called the piano man. I don’t want any of my music to join the realm of as complete drunken overplayed absence of meaning as Don’t Stop Believin’.
Mowing the lawn today, I thankfully avoided shredding a toad. I was quite happy about this, and the more I think about it the more I’m hoping it has some sort of hidden deeper meaning in the context of the rest of my past couple days. It’s probably because I saw the toad and then swerved to evade it. It didn’t jump out of the way without me noticing. I actively decided not to kill it. I was reassured of my own benevolent power. I was in control.
Recently in a few facets of my life people are no longer seeing eye-to-eye with me and the frustration I feel is immeasurable. When one senses that one’s words are beginning to bounce off walls, it’s important to somehow be reminded that you still have control over something.
